Who are the players:
We have three people in this story Jenna and Carl and his mad mother. Of course the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Love that line always wanted to say that but guess this is close enough. Jenna and Carl are dating for a few years now but this has been an uphill battle for Jenna. Just as Jenna gets closer to Carl there is always a wrench tossed in the works. You can imagine the pile of wrenches can be melted down and reused to make a tug boat and still have enough to make enough forks and knives for all the inhabitants of China… Jenna is artistic and has shows she puts together from time to time. They are quite exciting and fun to attend. This weekend we had a show and Jenna did a marvelous job.
After the show…
Jenna calls me two days later and we are chatting on the phone she is bummed out but doesn’t know why. Lets back track what happened in the last few days. Jenna tells me that Carl woke up this morning and grabbed his skateboard and left the house. What happened last night? Jenna went out and met a friend Willie Wonka (not his real name but appropriate). When with Willie Wonka (can be a tongue twister) she didn’t feel herself but wasn’t because of Willie Wonka. What did you do the day before? Jenna was with Carl but he slept through the entire day and then at night was totally engrossed in a movie… Hmmm. Then nothing there yet to chew on so what happened after the show? Jenna and Carl went out had a few beers and then went home. Hmmm thinking while sitting in my truck parked in my driveway. My poor neighbors they probably look out the window and see me in the truck sitting there all the time. Mad he must be to sit there alone talking to himself… This still didn’t come to me or Jenna and she is still in a foul mood. Can’t go and see her was too tired from my weekend. Ok then lets consider for a moment what happened…
Epiphany!
BINGO! Jenna this is what happened… You had a most amazing show and now you have this flower of information you wanted to share with Carl. Carl didn’t want to feel your energy and experience the joy with you. This is the most important part of the dynamic time you had experienced. Not the show itself but to be able to share this information with the man you love. He didn’t let you share that with him. After the show you went out a bit then home to sleep.
Day One The Flower is Beautiful…
The next day Carl was unconsciously hiding himself from you by sleeping through the entire day. Almost as if you are chasing him around the apartment with this beautiful flower. “Carl look at this beautiful flower lets enjoy this together” all you want to do is share with him and he didn’t want to experience or see the flower. Then you watch a movie with him your flower in your hand while he ignores you.
Day one Night time Flower is beginning to wilt:
By night’s end you went out for a while with Willie Wonka the flower is drooping and Willie Wonka is the enemy. So bewildered by not being able to share the flower with Carl you bring the flower with you to Willie Wonka who in the past has been intimidated by you and also someone who you can’t trust. WOW you have this beautiful excitement to share with the one you love and now you end up with the flower sitting next to the enemy. Because if you can’t share this flower with Carl anyone else would be considered the enemy of Carl. Carl is sabotaging his own self.
Day Two The flower is dead and we weep:
Carl wakes up grabs his skateboard and runs out the door. Jenna is in the bed with a dead flower in her hand. This beautiful moment is gone… Destroyed and now anguish and resentment creep into her heart where joy and excitement dwelled just the day before…
Background on Carl and his Mother:
Carl is frozen and he is this way because his mother was very manipulative to him she would always merchandise her affections to Carl based on what she wanted Carl to do for her. Growing up in this environment would make him the product of manipulation and an unconscious manipulator. So he is disconnected from his body being frozen and unconscious of this frozen energy. No warmth or natural affection which is alien to him. This sort of affection brings him to terror and since he can’t handle that must be avoided at all costs.
So what’s the point?:
The problem here is that Jenna’s energy was very warm and beautiful and Carl is frozen. How can he understand warm and beautiful and pure energy when he grew up under the dominion of a manipulator. He can’t handle this from Jena so he has to kill Jenna’s energy or in this case the flower in her hand not to threaten his will’s control over himself.
Payback is a bitch:
Carl is clueless and frozen you can’t tell him he is frozen because his will won’t hear that. There is to much disconnection between the core of the person and the mask that he is portraying to the world. Jenna… Carl is destroying the flower without his conscious knowledge. We on the other hand are going to melt this frozen carcass of his. The Spirit sees everything and the will sees only itself. If we try to directly talk to him we aren’t going to do nothing how can you talk someone who is frozen solid. Foolishness, listen up everyone pay attention, you can’t talk to the will of the man. You can’t confront this by using your will. Talking to Carl is a total waste of time and would be as productive as pouring ice water on the frozen carcass. However (impish smile) if you do something that the will is not conscious of then you are going to get the message across to Core of the man and the will won’t even know. Then the core of the man will confront itself there will be a little war inside the man and all of a sudden you will find a puddle on the floor. “Hey Carl what is that?”
Let the melting process begin!
Give Carl what carl wants, he wants to kill the flower and stay frozen. Jenna this is the plan go to the super market and buy whatever you can find that says the word “HOT” maybe HOT SAUCE or HOT SALSA whatever you can find and just put them discretely around the kitchen area. Make something for dinner that is HOT. Change the screen saver on your computer to both wintery and sunny scenes. Lower the temperature in the apartment every chance you get and then raise the temperature to be oven hot. He killed your flowers now you kill this frozen energy. Bring him a glass of water when he asks and put so many ice cubes that there is barely a teaspoon worth of water in the cup. Use the word HOT in your speech melt this bastard!
Next show do not bring him the flower. Just keep that flower to yourself for now or give that to a close friend of yours. Don’t ask him what he thinks of the show tell him nothing. Give him the frozen abyss he so craved.
Last but not least when you are near Carl look at your hand and think to yourself that your hand is like 2000 degrees hot. Take that hot hand of yours and put on Carl’s frozen carcass. Just do this in silence and he won’t consciously know what you are doing but he will benefit from this.
Carl knows the flower is dead now and he will be attentive once again. So after the next show keep that flower alive but don’t let him know the flower is living. Then when Carl thinks he is comfortable on “ice mountain” pull out the warm flower with compassion.
So what is going to happen now?
Jenna keep in mind that Carl is in the prison of his mind yes we are going to have fun with this but now since you can see where the pain is coming from you won’t let this be crippling to you. This will also help you communicate with him without the severity of anguish you had in the past. We are all in prison in various levels yet the closer we get to our core the prison walls begin to melt away. Have tremendous compassion for Carl because he is fighting constantly within himself with the pain of his mother with the only tools he had from when he was a boy. He had established a wall of frozen energy always strengthening this frozen energy while you are a hot blooded woman. What a paradox!
Michael you are crazy!
Sure you think this is insane but remember a physical reality has a spiritual undercurrent. Crazy right… Guess what Carl’s favorite thing to do is? SKIING! Was in skiing clubs and everything that follows. The glory of being frozen is to identify with the very action the man does.
He is on top of a frozen mountain sliding down it’s slopes can you see the smile upon his face from here? Sure Carl is totally frozen inside so on the outside he likes to ski fulfilling the glory of that which is inside.
Carl left the apartment with a SKATEBOARD in his hand. The skateboard is that which you do as a child and he is in terror with Jenna chasing him around the apartment with the warm flower. The skateboard is also giving glory to the frozen energy since the skateboard resembles a ski. Carl can’t go to the mountain to strengthen himself so he ran out with the skateboard. You will see the physical is a manifestation of The Spiritual problem.
Want to bet me?
Give Carl a year or two and he will come to hate skiing. As he thaws out he will ski less and less. On his last ski adventure he couldn’t breath that well while on the mountain. The reason for that will be the subject of another story.